Free work for family?

Caught the ties she ain't much of a sister if she can't do anything for u don't do anything for her its that simple she is just taking advantage of u

 

I would definitely be "too busy" to accomodate her requests the next few that she asks.  Depending how ticked off I was, you could wait till has a big family portrait or something that takes alot of organizing then "forget" to show up. Hehe, that would be me, dont answer the phone either.......

 

Sounds like you already know the answer. Do what you feel is right. Trust yourself. Family is not always what it should be. Sometimes the best family are the ones we make from having close friends.

 

wow sounds like your sister is a brat i would charge her 40 percent more lol thats not right what she is doing time to put her in her place paint a pic of a pile of dog poopoo and hand that to her lol j/k

 

wait you signed your painting and she wants her money back for the materials? Okay so you give her the money back and then tell her itll cost her $1000 for the painting.

 

Let her be angry then! Either she sucks it up and pays you the small pittance you're asking, or she gets NOTHING /DesktopModules/ActiveForums/themes/_default//emoticons/smile.gif You are the one in control of the situation and good for you that you're laying down some ground rules! I'm sure she will try and make it difficult for you, good luck and keep us posted.

Sorry you got the "short stick" in the sisters department :/ Maybe she'll grow up one of these days.......

 

oh i dunno? if she agrees to pay you then i would just take it to her. I mean as angry as we sometimes get, it is really easy to take things further then they need to. As far as doing favors for her and such, I would simply tell her you would be happy too as long as she is buying lunch for the outing. Or consider it bonding time.

IMO you really need to come up with something that entails her to help you, be it shopping or feeding your fish for a day or 2 and see how she responds. Do all you can to accomodate her schedule, treat her like you would want to be treated IE buy lunch, and see how it goes. While you do want to make a point, you also dont want to lose a sister.

 

Here's my personal take on this. I really enjoy helping other people. It gives me a sense that I'm helping others and makes me feel like I'm able to share my skills and talents with others to make their lives better. Everything from helping people move, fixing their computers, helping teach them to program their aquarium controllers, set up home networks, do home repairs, and just generally be there for them in times of need. Part of it is in hopes that they will be there when I'm in need, but I don't expect anything in return other than to feel good about helping others. What goes around, comes around. That concept has been ingrained into society since the early times of man. A person's actions, whether good or bad, will have consequences for that person. If you focus on being a good person and doing good things, good things will happen for you. If you focus on being a vindictive person, it's likely people will be vindictive in response. In fact, I think there's even a few passages in the Bible that refer to that concept. Don't worry about hew they respond, you can't help that. Worry about your actions as they are all that's in your power.

If I had painted something for someone, and they had purchased my supplies (especially in the case of family), I would be honored that they chose to hang my work in their home. Doesn't that mean that they value your work so much that they want to display it? I would not charge for it. I wouldn't even think to. That's just me, I guess it's part of my personality and who I am. My brother is a PA. Whenever we have a medical question, I don't call my Dr., I call him. My sister and her husband work in the financial services industry. Whenever I have a question about that, I call them. And my other brother works in marketing and has skills in making video shows for memorials and special events. We all help each other out (and others) free just to help people out. I stress, we all help each other out. It's not just me helping them, it's them helping when I'm in need. I think maybe it has to do with the way that we were raised. Or maybe it's because they know I will be there (or have been there) for them in their times of need and want to do the same for me.

I don't know what it's like to have someone abuse my time, talents or skills, because I don't allow people to. When I feel like something like that is happening, I politely make myself unavailable and it doesn't become an issue. It sounds to me that you may have years of experiences with your sister that may be influencing the way that you're looking at the situation. It may be time to forget all of that and move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge, and let's face it, that type of thing only hurts you. Maybe it's time to forget the past and start over fresh and move on.

And to answer your question, personally, I think you're being too tough.

I do want to stress, these are my opinions. Everyone is free to have their own. Agree with me or disagree with me, that's fine. But I ask that others respect my opinion as I will respect theirs.

--AJ

 

One case in point that I would like to add. When I started out in this hobby, I found this site. People here helped me learn the hobby, helped me when I ran into issues, and even came over and assisted me with things when I was in a bind. Now, I feel like I'm in a position to do the same for others on the site...and I try to whenever I can. When I get a good deal, I pay it forward. When someone has helped me, I try to make sure and help others even a little more than I was helped. And especially when someone that has really helped me out is in need, you can bet that I'm going to be there to help them out...even if I have to rearrange a few things in my life to do so. I think that the culture of our club is based on this principle. If it wasn't, this club would have died long ago.

I think that there are other clubs where this same culture is not the case and you don't see the kind of strength and comradery that we see in GIRS. We are a better club because we have so many people are are willing to help others. And as some have said earlier, sometimes your family is those that you choose to hold close to you whether they are your friends of your blood relatives. To that point, I would say that helping others in the club, really qualifies as "free work for family". As a result of this, we have a great club.

--AJ

 

I just read through this thread and agree largely with what AJ has to say. The thing that still bothers me is that when you asked your sister's husband for help, you were left outside in the cold, so to speak. Perhaps it was forgotten about, but the end result is the same. The other thing that is troublesome is that your sister stated she didn't want to spend $300 on someone to do the work for her. IMO this is undermining your talent. It is sort of like saying "what you do isn't worth the money, but you are a relative and I can get it for free." I am all about helping family, but not when you are approached and treated the way you have described to us here. To be honest I have done favors for mere acquaintances that seem to have treated me nicer for my help. Again, I agree with AJ, but I will say there has to be a cutoff point. If your sister is expecting something for nothing and then has the audacity to ask for money for your meal that evening, I think you have reached a point where you need to sit down and talk to her about it.

 

Also consider the fact that its all well and good to help one another when one can, but if you're currently out of work, I think its fair to get *some* compensation for your time/efforts. I would think she would understand this and offer you something. The fact that she seems to care very little, if anything, about your well-being in the situation would resolve me to stick to charging her a little for your paintings. Yes, she obviously likes and values your work, or she wouldn't want it. What I think she doesn't value is your time or efforts......

 

+1  I agree that in a case where a person is out of work and in need, the recipient of the services should be conscientious about this and offer generous compensation.  Again, not charge, but they should offer.  I think it says a lot about a person's character if they have the means and don't offer compensation in a situation like that.  It certainly sounds like there are issues there.
--AJ

 

If I didn't know any better, I would think you are my girlfriend, Sofiya, in disguise. This is her story, TO A T. Literally!